I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I want a musical about memes.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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