oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
