He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
