I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
