Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
