Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
