Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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