I showed him my bush... on skype.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
