i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
