I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
