I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
