I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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