We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
