this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just found a bag of teeth...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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