roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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