Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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