Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
