I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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