I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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