Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he's gonorrhea incarnate
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
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