'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
