So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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