I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
