No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
