Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
