Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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