i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
