i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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