I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
