I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
