You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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