Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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