please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
