pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
