She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
