HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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