garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The power of my boobs compel you
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
