No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize