Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
