yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
