I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
