Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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