yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
