i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
