the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
