he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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