So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
