When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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