yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
