so explain again why im purple
no
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It's never too late to be topless.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
