At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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