we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
