I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
