: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
