yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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