Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
